Moving to Spain - the Easy Way? Chapter Nine.

   MOVING TO SPAIN – THE EASY WAY? Chapter Nine – cultural differences. 

It is very easy to generalise about different nationalities.  From our experiences in Spain, we would say that the majority of Spanish people we have met have been very friendly, welcoming, helpful and kind.  They seem to be a very tolerant race, sometimes they can be a bit loud, and they tend to have a good sense of humour.  Spaniards are also very family oriented and enjoy a traditional if slightly old-fashioned way of life. 

We have found exceptions, of course.  Senor Grumpy, who seemed so unwilling to serve us when we went out for dinner in a restaurant in Jumilla, is one example that springs to mind, although we do intend going back one evening to see if he is the same, just in case we caught him on a bad day.

There was also an elderly waitress in a Madrid restaurant, who John was convinced was deliberately ignoring us because we were foreigners, until I pointed out that the younger Spanish couple sitting near us were being treated exactly the same.  I suspect that her shoes were too tight and her corns were hurting and I also suspect that she was the mother of the restaurant owner or she would have been sacked.

We could also generalise about the Brits, especially when they are abroad.  Drinking too much, sitting in the sun until they go red and burn, refusing to eat any “foreign muck” and insisting on their Sunday roasts or fish, chips and mushy peas, complaining because nobody speaks English – I am sure that you get the picture.  Brits can be spotted a mile away because of their burnt shoulders, baggy shorts, white socks and sandals, plus you can hear them coming, as they shout and swear at their disobedient children.  That’s not you, is it?  It’s not John or me either.  As I have said, it is too easy to generalise.

So if we don’t conform to the biased picture above, why should we expect all Spaniards to be the same?  We haven’t allowed for regional differences either, because just as Scots, Geordies and Londoners can be very different to each other, the people of Seville are not like the Catalans, and I am sure that Murcians aren’t the same as Madrileños. 

 Although I hope to avoid sweeping generalisations, there are definite cultural differences between our two nations that we need to be aware of, although things are gradually changing in Spain, as shown when Spain's Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero unveiled his new cabinet, which for the first time included more women than men. A year ago I attended a seminar on ways of doing business abroad, which proved quite enlightening.  The vision I had always had of Spain was of a relaxed way of both living and working, so I was surprised to be told that formal business dress is usually worn at business meetings in Spain.  Since then, when going out for lunch in Spain, I have noticed that men and women do tend to look very smart when they are dining out on a working day.      Another important point that they told us about at the seminar was that business is not generally discussed at the first couple of meetings with a prospective business partner or client.  The first meeting could very well be over a typically Spanish long lunch, at which you will get to know each other.  As a result of this, you may be invited round for dinner at the family home, where again the process of getting to know each other is important.  Only when your potential business partner or client is confident that you can be trusted will he or she actually start discussing business with you. Time and time again John and I have had to remind ourselves of the reasons why we decided to move to Spain.  The laidback attitude and relaxed way of life were part of the appeal, but at times they are the very things that can prove annoying. “Mañana mañana” can be fine when you are on holiday and don’t mind waiting for tomorrow to come, but sometimes you want things to be done now.   We arrived at the hotel in Barcelona where we were spending Christmas last year, tired after our flight as it had been delayed, impatient to get to our room for a shower, and starting to feel hungry having only eaten an insubstantial airline meal.  There was quite a long queue in reception, but there were three members of staff on duty, so we hoped to get our keys quite quickly.   Unfortunately for us, one of the receptionists seemed to be having a problem with her computer, so another receptionist went over to help her, leaving just one person to deal with the queue.  Which was fine until the phone rang, and the receptionist who was dealing with everybody in the queue went to answer it.  Now the three people working on reception were busy either talking to each other, or to whoever was at the other end of the phone, so the queue grew even longer and all the British, American and German guests started muttering about bad service. When at long last we got to the front of the queue, the receptionist was utterly charming, very helpful, and gave us her full attention.  She was doing a very good job, and we realised that whatever she did she wanted to do it well, even if that was helping a colleague sort out a computer problem.  What we had thought of as bad service was in fact good service from her perspective.  A similar thing happened to us in a supermarket at Cabo Roig.  The shop was almost deserted, so after we had done our shopping we expected to be out of there quite quickly.  Except for one thing: the cashdesk was deserted, and the only member of staff we could see nearby was busy fiddling with the trolleys.  She glanced up and caught us looking over at her, so she smiled, took her time finishing whatever she was doing to the trolleys and finally strolled over to serve us with a cheerful “Buenos dias!”  Luckily we weren’t in a particular hurry that day. I think that must be the secret to not getting frustrated by this laid-back attitude.  Never go anywhere if you are in a hurry.  Certainly I wouldn’t advise going for a drink if your bus is due in half an hour.  You may be lucky enough to get served quickly, the waiter or barman will no doubt hear you asking for the bill when you have finished your drink, but he will probably serve another couple of people, exchange pleasantries with one of the locals, and watch a bit of the football match on the TV before bringing the bill to you.  The only good thing is, as you rush out of the bar and head for the bus stop, you know that the bus will probably be late so you are still likely to catch it. Families are very important in Spain, and this includes both the nuclear and the extended family.  John and I have been told that when a Spanish family buys a holiday home it will probably be occupied for most of the day, as not only will the immedicate family stay there, but second cousins twice removed, their auntie’s next door neighbour as well as many other friends and family will arrive there for a holiday.   Like most countries, Spain has changed over the years.  Traditionally Spain has been a macho society  but nowadays it is very equalitarian, as demonstrated by the recently appointed female-dominated cabinet.   In Spain, both women and men retire at the age of 65, which unfortunately is not to my advantage.  Although I have been a British pensioner since September 2007 and John won’t be a pensioner until March 2009, he will get all the benefits of being  a pensioner in Spain well before I do. Although the majority of Spaniards are Roman Catholic, different religious beliefs are accepted, possibly because of Spain’s rich history, with long periods where different religious groups have coexisted, including Muslims, Jews and Christian.  Gay marriages have also been accepted, though some traditionalists may have done so reluctantly. Young Spaniards still tend to stay in the family home longer than young people in the UK and usually they only leave it on marriage, but whether this is because there is not the same support structure from the state in Spain or whether this is because family ties are stronger is debatable. One thing that cannot be denied however is the importance of children in Spanish society.  However late in the evening it may be, you are likely to see young children out with their families.  British people may frown on this, and say surely those children should be in bed at this time of night, however John and I have both noticed how well behaved the children tend to be, maybe because they have rested during the siesta and are not over-tired. When John and I visited Valencia with some friends as part of his 60th birthday celebrations, one of our friends brought along her two year old daughter Juliette.  We all went out for a meal one evening, and after studying the menu, Wenders said that she couldn’t see anything suitable for her daughter.  That was not a problem however.  This was Spain, and the waiter was far more interested in finding something for the child to eat than worrying about the adults.  He proudly presented Juliette with a plate of chicken breast and other food that he had been told the little girl would enjoy.  After that, he paid attention to the rest of the group. The main religion in Spain is Roman Catholicism, however it is no cliché to say that the second religion is football.  I had first discovered this all those years ago, when my Spanish bull fighter friend had reeled off the names of so many English footballers.  On our many trips to Spain in recent years, it has only been on rare occasions that we have visited a bar or restaurant that didn’t have a TV set in the corner.   If football is on, the TV screen will be the focus of attention.  John and I happened to be dining in a restaurant in Mojacar when Spain was playing a European Championship qualifying match.  I watched the waiter approaching with my meal, both his eyes firmly fixed on the screen in the corner, and made sure that he put my plate safely on the table and not in my lap.  I realised that service had improved significantly during the interval. Football is a universal language, and I have noticed that John can communicate fluently with Spaniards when they are all watching a football game on TV.  No doubt he will gain many more friends once we move to Jumilla and he has spent a few evenings in the local bars having a couple of beers and watching football.  Hopefully he isn’t quite ready to sit playing dominoes with the other pensioners! Many British couples decide to move to Spain because of the cultural differences.  We see how important the family is in Spain, we appreciate the relaxed way of life, we respect the traditions that still exist and we welcome the hand of friendship that the Spanish people offer us. Key points: ·        Enjoy the laidback, relaxed way of life, and accept that this may have a downside, if you are impatient for things to happen now rather than tomorrow.·        You may find that Spanish children stay up a lot later than you would expect.  Don’t criticise though, as they are usually well-behaved.·        Realise that if there is a choice between you and football on TV, the waiter will always choose the football.·        The Spanish people are usually very welcoming.  Appreciate their hospitality.